I looked forward to this week as a surreal dive, a moment of drowning in magnificent music: The Smashing Pumpkins, Snow Patrol and Tears for Fears all in one week, this particular week in August. Weeks before the event, however, I knew that I could not watch the August 9 performance of Snow Patrol as work would supposedly call that night. I had to accept it (although I admit I was kinda scheming a way to at least make it to Araneta Center from Newport in Pasay --- dream on). The Smashing Pumpkins ticket came as a blessing: it would be on Tuesday, August 7, and I have blocked off everything. I can say the same for fans who have been waiting for the Pumpkins to make it to the Philippine shores.
But nature had something else in mind.
Monday night and early Tuesday morning the rains fell. I was actually in the office at around 2AM Tuesday morning, in preparation of the Thursday event. We watched as the rains continued, not stopping, sometimes bursting into huge, pounding drops and then suddenly switching to a drizzle that lightly touched the pavements. Who knew that the rains would continue, in this consistent pace, for hours? I woke up Tuesday reminiscent of that Saturday morning when Ondoy hit: about half of Greater Manila was underwater. People were on roofs, houses were being washed away. And to think that wasn't even a storm.
I am lucky to live in an elevated area although the rest of the city I live in were submerged. I spent the morning online, picking up on the news. Afterwards, I noticed that the rain started to seep into my apartment via the windows, and and I went on a freakish spree, snatching up rugs and a bucket, discovering a nearly-decomposed cockroach behind the door in the process. But that episode seems like a "first world problem", considering what's happening to the rest of the country, huh.
Of course I had to check if the Smashing Pumpkins would continue their show Tuesday night. And of course, they had to postpone and sent nice words to the victims of the tragedy.
They're awesome. Really.
***
Wednesday afternoon, after work had set us free due to the rains (again) and as we set off for Araneta Center, my sister and I discussed the set list whilst listening to Oceania. I'd only listened to Oceania maybe a couple of times; actually, I had only let it play in the background. I didn't have the time to focus on the album in manner of me, fifteen years (eek) ago, singing along to Tori Amos' Girls for Pele in the middle of the night whilst grasping the album's in-lay lyrics card.
Based on what I heard, I liked Oceania. There were beats that reminded me of Siamese Twins. But I didn't really know what to expect from the Smashing Pumpkins, especially as this was their first time to ever perform here, after about two decades and a few reformations.
I have to say it would be dangerous for me to have high expectations because the last SP album I bought was Adore and I loved it a lot. But I knew, despite these years of absence, that I would have that kind of expectation, to be swept away by this specific angst that is distinct from what they produced in that era also known as "Seattle" (yes, I believe in music terms, when you hear "Seattle" it deserves a rightful, genre-ish definition).
Besides, my first web-based email address had the local client "pumpkingirl". Seriously.
***
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| The Smashing Pumpkins performs the Oceania set in Manila. |
You don't do the mosh pit with Oceania. You can't even bob your head, not really. You sit back, eyes open, staring at the globe. That album is a trip, a journey. It's the kind of song the couple in the video "Tonight, Tonight" might be playing as they shot into space. The songs take you to a different place: sometimes somewhere unfamiliar, sometimes it takes you to the past in the form of those familiar undertones from Siamese Dreams and Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.
Oceania is but the sum of The Smashing Pumpkins all these years.
***
Eventually it got really rocking and the crowd went wild. Every time the guys started the familiar riffs: "Today", "Bullet with Butterfly Wings", "1979", "Zero"... people went crazy. I almost lost my voice shouting the shouting parts in "x.y.u.":
I know where I can't know
I bleed for me and mine
RAT TAT TAT TAT
KA BOOM BOOM
NOW TAKE THAT
AND SOME GOOD OLE BLISS
CAUSE I'M A SISTER
AND I'M A MOTHERFUCK!!!!
Whew.
It was amazing. Really.
The Smashing Pumpkins' entire set lasted for almost three hours, with about five songs for their encore. I was on my feet the entire time. I danced and my abs danced as well. My throat hurt. My hands were up in the air. I jumped in my wedges. My hair was everywhere.
It was such an epic night.
***
I almost cried, hoping I could hear "Rocket", "Porcelina of the Vast Oceans" and --- most especially --- "Mayonnaise", a song that would send me weeping. But I wasn't teary-eyed because it was, well, bitin. Through their songs, old and new, I witnessed the band's evolution, and mine as well. Those years when they were starting and so sure, from Gish to Siamese Dreams to Pisces Iscariot to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness... to their loss as seen in the depressing but very substantial Adore... to the break starting in Machina to Zeitgeist and so on. And now this.
Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Old enough to always feel this
Always old, I'll always feel this
No more promise, no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
- "Mayonaise"
And I couldn't help comparing the years I started listening to them in my early teens that were starting and so sure, and then my twenties that were adventuresome and hazy and unsure. And now this.
So this I have to say. It was a given that the Oceania Manila leg was an incredible success. But on a personal note, this is what I have to say to The Smashing Pumpkins after all these years:
Look how much we have grown.
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