Magic Monty: On Males and Strippers

Yes, I have been to a strip club. Maybe three times. Or four.

The first time I went to one it was this, well, nice place on Timog Avenue. I was still in college and I was with college friends. Most of us were girls though we had one male pal with us, supposedly to "protect" us, but in fact we ended up protecting him. I went there as a girl who wanted to see the hardened male bodies gyrating to the cheesiest love songs (along the lines of Air Supply, mind you); I wasn't there to observe the state of humanity. It was indeed the best attitude, getting into this kind of thing.

Captured from the Magic Mike trailer.
Yes, this is how we react to the sight of a naked guy.

I enjoyed myself and ended up finding this particular stripper oh-so-cute. When the night ended, us girls who were enrolled in the premiere state university of the country compared notes as to which guy we thought was good looking, which one had the best body, which one had the most interesting looking, uh, schlong. I was probably twenty-one and as my exposure to actual naked male bodies at that time were only limited to the naked frat boys on the Oblation Run, the male strippers I saw that particular night had the best bodies I had ever seen.

Magic Mike: yes I will yes.

Years after that I did get to visit strip clubs mostly for the, well, inane purpose of finding a stripper for bridal showers. I did notice that the bodies of the male strippers I encountered then kinda declined: they were smaller, paler, less experienced. Or maybe the strippers were finally younger than me and I was no longer that girl who watched the yearly Oblation Run who shrieked at the sight of a dangling, uh, stinky pickle.

There was this one time we hired a stripper for a bridal shower and we went to this bar on Roxas Boulevard. When we talked to the manager, he lined up the available boys execution-style and shone his flashlight on each of them, saying, "Ito? Ito? O gusto ninyo 'to?" (This one? This one? Or maybe you like this one?). It was one of the most horrible feelings ever. Finally, we chose this guy and when the night finally came, I insisted we feed him and I ended up talking to him about his family and his life as a stripper. He never mentioned it, but it was implied he had a lifeline connected to someone more affluent, maybe a mamasan or a gay lover.

Them sexy things.

Anyway, as I have been thinking of relaxing this weekend after days in the wilderness and recovering from urban shock, I debated whether I should take my nephew to see Ice Age 4 or I should finally give in and watch Magic Mike. Now, why do I want to see Magic Mike? Aside from the fact that the exotic male dancers are portrayed by the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer and True Blood hot wolfman Joe Manganiello, it's directed by Steven Soderbergh, the guy who did Full Frontal, Erin Brokovich, the Ocean Eleven sequels, and one of the sexiest films ever without the usual graphic sensual scenes, Sex, Lies and Videotape with the very drippingly hot James Spader. And it has a current rating of 78% fresh rating in Rotten Tomatoes, hehe.

Although Magic Mike has all that potential, at the moment I am fiercely loyal to the best male stripper film I've seen so far: it's about this six out-of-work workers in a formerly thriving English industrial town. You know what I am talking about. To quote Todd Wilkinson's character in the movie that pretty much describes their group Hot Metal: "He's fat, you're thin, and you're both fucking ugly".

Of course, the best scene is the one where they all strip. But the one with "Hot Stuff" is freaking hilarious. The following clip alone seduces one to go watch it. Now I am itching to dig up my The Full Monty, the VCD copy!

Anyhow, with this male stripper film in the cinemas now and memories of The Full Monty flooding my head which is why I have been laughing out of nowhere, I remember this thing I read years ago, a question which can still be mind-boggling: why is it that when guys see a naked woman they suddenly fall silent while we girls start laughing at the sight of a naked guy?

Does this still ring true, now that we are constantly exposed to casual nakedness? Hmm. I should see about this bunch of naked guys and find out myself.