The last time I wrote here was November 2010. That was about seven months ago. Looking back, it was a pretty tumultuous period. I had a project I couldn't get off the ground. I was not taking as many projects as I used to which is why I got pretty broke around that time (and then I managed to get a cool project-based arrangement which expanded my writing). I lost few friendships. I was trying to get my dating life in order while nursing a broken heart --- in which case, this said "dating life" remains to be in the height of suspense in the manner of, "Who is the next guy? Is this going to be a mistake again? Is she temporarily going to give up on this tiring quest of finding love, hence is she going to "use" another guy (again) in way of pantawid-gutom (eow!)?"
Seriously --- every time there is the attempt to get things right this time around, there are always the glitches. It kinda makes life exciting. Kabbalists will probably point out that finding the light is the main purpose after all. It is all about not going to the dark place. As this Reese Witherspoon character read from a self-affirmation post-it in this movie which I can't remember the title of (because it was pretty ho-hum even though it starred Reese, Paul Rudd and Owen Wilson), "Courage is not the lack of fear but the mastery of fear" --- or something. Anyway, it is all about the mastery. Balance is another word. But hey, let's give ourselves the permission to be human, alright?
Come late December I accepted this full time job. I am not going to disclose my job details in this blog, but a lot of the exciting happenings in my life is because of this job. It's pretty cool. I have travelled to three countries starting last March, and yes, thanks to this job, I have finally set foot in the United States of America and spend some time in France. Actually, at the moment I am picking up this blog while on a lay-over in Incheon, Korea from Los Angeles to Manila, and I am dang glad that this airport is modern, well-designed, and lay-over-friendly. And it has free Internet too.
So yes. Career-wise it is a bit of a weird turnout, but still very much in the film industry which I refuse to get out of. I somehow call this stint motivated by a "personal noble cause", which, funnily, this Hollywood guy I met at an LA party could not help but laugh as --- yes --- "personal" and "noble" do not really go together. But you know. We have such quirks. Besides, anything noble has to come from a personal cause. Something along the opposite ends of psychic numbing, which means you are being proactive about it instead of complaining, complaining, complaining. Or being apathetic and indifferent.
I think in the next year I am going to make some drastic career moves. I can't help but say that somehow I learned something from my LA trip. It was short but personally and professionally necessary. Hey, I might not have met Jason Segel on this trip, but I have managed to find myself discovering this working balance among inspiration, idealism, and being a plain hard-ass. I am no longer in my 20s. I have managed to set my foot in the process of awakening this time around.
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