It IS hard when you finally decide to make some changes in your life, no? I remember years ago, a friend told me about this thing our late Dean of College said in their class: if you do something right, everything will start falling into place. Well, it seems at first that things are falling into place, but of course, the universe is not going to be there all the time. There's the initial boost, and then it feels gone. You're on your own.
About two months ago, a few of my friends (including my sister) decided --- almost at the same time --- that they wanted to quit their jobs. The reason is simple: it's dead-end, they don't want to do it for the rest of their lives, they're unhappy. Incidentally, I was going through the same thing: I did not want to do the meat source of my income anymore. I want to do what I have been doing sporadically. And yes, I have been getting significant support. So do my friends, my sister.
But now, it seems that time is running out. We are still "in the process", and yes, funds are running low. It's like we are now on this verge of going back to what we were before. We're nearing this point of surrender. It feels that the time we spent trying to make these changes, risking a lot of things --- have gone to waste.
I like to think that life works in mysterious, wondrous ways. I mean, we got into this ordeal with good intentions. It's not a joke. It's not like we got lazy and we wanted to rebel. We're looking for something significant. Of course, spiritual texts will point out that if it's not too hard, then maybe it's not that worth it. If it easily gets to you, it will be easily taken away from you; work needs to come in, in different ways and form.
Right now I can see small changes. I hope my sister is experiencing this too. We're hanging on. Everything will change, and that's not because it is according to plan; they will because it's all part of the particles that make this universe possible.
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